Pain...

It dawned on me last night that with all these years gone by, I still hadn't learned that growing up was all about getting hurt. And then getting over it. I get hurt. I recover. I move on. Odds are I will get hurt again. But each time I will manage to learn something...or ideally come out of it a little stronger.

Realization strikes. There are more flavors of pain than tea:

Little empty pains: empty pains of leaving something behind, from the familiar and safe into the unknown
Big overwhelming pains: when life seems to crush all your plans and expectations (mostly when related to people you make these plans with)
Sharp pains: mostly of failure or successes that seemed unsatisfactory
Vicious pains: when your hopes are torn up (mostly by a loved one)
Sweet pains: Finding people, giving them your love and enjoy life with them, all the while knowing it can only be temporary...

Pain has always been a big part of my life...and it did 2 things: it taught me and told me that i was alive. Then it passed away slowly but surely and changed me...
I would like to think it sometimes made me wiser or stronger. Either way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in life is going to involve it in one degree or another.
Everyone is down on pain, because they forget something important about it: Pain is what distinguishes us from God.

Loneliness...

I never thought I should consider myself  a loner. Sure I've felt suicidal. I have stared depression in the eyes and those dark abysmal pools brought no solace whatsoever . I've felt awful, to a point of what I thought was a no-return...I guess loneliness is never really a choice, it is simply the aftermath of  trying to blend into the world...a quest to find the intelligent and sensitive souls who would understand me...finding many people who continue to disappoint me...and a very select few who fill my heart with love and bring smiles to the corners of my lips.

Tonight, alone in my room, bent over my keypad, allowing the strokes to tear the pure silence, I'll quote Ibsen, "The strongest people are the most alone."

Time for change...

As part of my 2011 resolution list, I decided to alter the way I saw life. It isn't supposed to be an all or nothing battle between misery and bliss, as for years I have lived it. 

Life isn't supposed to be a battle at all. And when it comes to happiness, well, sometimes life is just okay, sometimes it's comfortable, sometimes wonderful, sometimes boring, sometimes unpleasant. 

When your day's not perfect, it's not a failure or a terrible loss. It's just another day.

And I decided I wanted every day to be a good day and so it shall. Are you with me?


P.S: reading a daily insight from the book The Secret is quite a big motivator too. Thank you D.

Beautiful People...

It recently came to my attention that I did not know many beautiful people in real life closely.

And I was right :) Beautiful people are the last ones you want to befriend!

They tend to float through life thinking that it's perfectly normal for others to gaze at them adoringly, and open doors for them, and follow their opinions... 

Doesn't anyone understand that beautiful people are stupid? That's why nature made them beautiful, so they'd have a chance at surviving in the wild.

And how do they survive? They use people and then they drop people, and they float away on the waves of their own gorgeousness to the next poor girl who thinks that being friends with a beautiful person will somehow make her beautiful, too.

I've got news for you: Hanging around beautiful people just makes you uglier by comparison.

Tolstoy's Beggar

Today I read a short story from Tolstoy about a beggar man who sat out on the streets every day pleading for pennies from passersby. This beggar, was so caught up in the doom and gloom of his self inflicted notion of poverty that he failed to notice that the pot on which he was sitting each day was in fact a glimmering pot of gold.

And I wondered if we weren't all a little like this fabled beggar.  Isn't your mind is spinning with thoughts of opportunities that you may in fact be sitting on? Even in the pursuit of our wildest dreams I think it’s entirely possible to still be sitting on pots of gold, which we could be using to a greater benefit.

So keep your eyes out for the opportunities laying right beneath you, lest you become like Tolstoy’s beggar, asking the world for a penny when you have your own pot of gold.